All The Things I know About Potty Training

Sooooo, you guys want to talk about potty training (or potty learning, as they’re saying more these days), huh?! I took a poll on Instagram (P.S. that’s where I’m most active) and 100% of you who voted said “YES, let’s chat about it.” So, here we are.

I am no expert. I’m just a mom going through potty training with her toddler, Henry, who was right around 3 years and 7 months when it all fully clicked, like 100% potty trained.

Hold up. Can we pause and take a moment for that? 😅👏👏👏👏👏 It feels like an accomplishment in our house, so I’m gonna celebrate the heck out of this!

Anyway…

Here’s the full recap.

We’ve had one of those small toddler toilets since Henry was about one-and-a-half. We bought it and just sort of had it out so he could see/explore it whenever he wanted to. There was absolutely no pressure to start or even encourage potty training. More of just a visual for him of “Hey, this is what a toilet looks like. You pee and poop there!” 😂

Fast forward… like a lottttt… to Henry’s third birthday week — July 4, 2022. He was starting to show signs of readiness. His pull-up would be dry for hours at a time, he was very aware of us going to the bathroom/would follow and watch us, and he was dry every morning. We even read a few potty books over and over again at night. We felt he was ready and figured, “We’re both off work this week, it’s nice out, we’re home, he can be naked… let’s give it a go.”

Well, needless to say, it didn’t really go as planned. We tried the naked approach, so anytime he felt it coming, he could go right away. But, just about every time, he would just freeze and pee or poop on the floor. Like a lot! It was frustrating for him and a ton of clean up for us (not complaining, just being honest). Part of the journey for sure!

We never, ever made him feel bad and just kept getting back on track with it. I remember it was Day 3 or so and I decided to take him blueberry picking with Ruby (I think Sam must have been working). He wore shorts, but nothing underneath (which I read was the next step after going naked for a few days). All was going well, and then all of the sudden I hear, “I’m peeing!!” We were far into the blueberry picking process, like way down in the bushes (haha), so there I was trying to wipe him clean, get him dressed and move forward. I think I forgot clean shorts, so he walked out of there in just a shirt and pull-up. Classic mom move!

As the week went on, it was apparent that he just was not quite ready. And, that was okay. We took a break from it and back into pull-ups he went.

We mentioned this all to his pediatrician and her thoughts were…. “It’ll just click. When he’s ready, you’ll know it. He’s just not there yet. Boys tend to potty train a little later than girls, too.”

I remember thinking, “Yeah, yeah. He’ll know?! How will HE know? Shouldn’t I be showing him how it’s done?”….

A couple months later, his school teacher (who we just love!) reached out saying she thought Henry was ready. He was always dry at school and would show interest in going to the bathroom when the other kids would go. She said, “Why don’t we partner up and use the same potty chart at home and school and DO THIS!!” We were excited. They were going to help us and we were all on the same page.

The first thing we all did was have him wear underwear OVER his pull-up. He was into that. It was a small step in the right direction. Plus, he loved picking out his new underwear. Definitely get your kid involved in that part, so they get pumped for it!

So there we went again, another round of it! He would have a couple accidents here and there at school or hold it for hours, but overall, he was really starting to make some serious progress. We were all so proud and made sure to tell him over and over again.

He was adding stickers on both charts and not going to lie, we definitely gave him some M&Ms as a reward for going. I know that’s a big no-no for many (and honestly, I was against it too… using food as a reward 👎) but hey, he’s trained now so… 🤷🏼‍♀️😂. Just got to do what works for your kid and what you feel is best! Obviously we aren’t going to give M&Ms forever. 🤪

Anyway, before we knew it, we decided to ditch the pull-ups during the day. He didn’t push back at all. Everything was very much in baby steps for Henry and I do believe that’s why it all went so well this second time around.

Accidents would still happen…. There was a week or so (when he wasn’t feeling well and off his routine) when he would pee or poop his underwear a lot and it was like UGHHHHHHHHH, are we regressing?!, but we just kept making him feel seen, and encouraged him to keep trying. I would urge you to never scold, shame or embarrass your child during the potty training process at ALL. What’s the point, really?

After he was feeling better and back to school, things got better again. He was always dry and went a month without one pee accident.

Oh, the poop part! Number 2 definitely took longer for him to go on the potty. I know that’s super common. I read that you can tell your child to act like they’re blowing out a candle to relax them when they’re trying to go. 😅 I would always say, “Take your time. I’m right here. You got this. Poops take longer.” 😆 After about a few weeks of pooping in his underwear, it CLICKED. Yup, like his pedi has assured me it would. He would feel it, and immediately say, “I HAVE TO GO!!” and run into the bathroom.

It’s weird to be so proud about your kid pooping on the potty, but I swear I was taking photos of it and sending them to my parents and Sam, hahaha!!! “Like, check this poop out!!!” That’s being a mom, I guess. 🤪

It’s been about two months now and I am so proud of the little guy. I finally feel like we’re on the other side of it. Oh, and just five nights ago, we decided to ditch the bedtime pull-up. He’s always been super dry in the mornings, so we decided to just rip the bandaid off. He’s been doing so well! Never an accident, but some early mornings because he really has to go. We’ll take it!

So, well, there it is…. Henry’s journey to undies! 🤣 Thrilling, huh?!

What I Would Do Differently Knowing What I Know Now

TRUST more. Know that he will figure it out in his own time. Our pedi was totally right. He just wasn’t ready at three-years-old. He was SO much more ready at three-and-a-half. Every kid is different. Stop comparing immediately.

Don’t get a toddler toilet. I actually think having them just go on a regular toilet is better, and then you don’t have to make the transition from one to the other. If you’re starting out now, I wouldn’t buy one.

Talk about peeing and pooping more, and encourage him to come in with us more often at a younger age. Modeling is key for literally everything with toddlers.

Relax, lol. I feel like when our kids are in a phase, we’re SO invested (and rightfully so), and it’s easy to get stressed or feel like throwing the towel in when it gets hard. I honestly didn’t know when or how we’d cross the potty training finish line, but man, I’m so glad we’re here. Just promise me if you’re IN it right now, you’ll give yourself moments of grace, laughter and shrugs. It’ll ALL work out.

Below is the potty chart we’ve been using. There are literally thousands of them online, so find one you like and stick with it! Get daycare involved if your child is in school and stay very consistent, and this really goes without saying — have plenty, plenty of patience.

That’s all for now, friends.
Ari