Miss Ruby Fields

Hi friends & fam!

I feel like I have so much to write and I just don’t know where to start.

Let’s cut right to the exciting news we’ve been waiting to share — our daughter, Ruby Fields Becker, is here! She was born on February 10 at 12:39pm, weighing in at 7.8 pounds and 20 inches long. We’re so in love with this little lady and she’s the perfect, cuddliest addition to our little family unit.

I’m thinking the best way to share all that I want to in this blog is to share bits and pieces of things that have happened over the past couple weeks, so here goes!

The Days Before Ruby’s Birth

There were a few noteworthy events leading up to Ruby’s birth. For one, my work threw me a surprise virtual baby shower and it was the DAY before Ruby was born. What’s funny is, the event was postponed twice for various reasons so we all got a kick out of the fact that it ended up being just in the nick of time. I was showered with so many lovely gifts, fun virtual games and a tasty lunch from one of my colleagues who came over to help celebrate.

Later that day, when I was leaving my house for what would be my last prenatal appointment, I saw an odd light reflection on our kitchen ceiling. The word “Hi” written as clear as day. I jumped out of my skin. What did this mean? Who was sending me this sign? I quickly ran out the door and called Sam — another person who deeply believes in signs and messages like me.

We both agreed that it was a sign from Sam’s dad, Michael, who passed away suddenly from Covid after battling for 2 weeks on Jan. 28 — just a couple weeks shy of meeting his first granddaughter. Michael was big into signs too. It had to be him telling us he was thinking of us all as we prepared for yet another big life change… the very next day (10 days early).

The past few weeks have been such a mix of sad and happy, good and bad, life and death. With the loss of Michael, then came the birth of Ruby. It’s been odd, emotional, hard, joyful, exhausting, and just about every other feeling imaginable — especially for Sam — who’s been navigating these big life events in the deepest of ways.

Later in the afternoon at my routine weekly appointment, my doctor was asking me how I was feeling and I said great and had no concerns. (If you had told me the next day I’d be giving birth, I’d never believe you.) I kept telling her how I felt like this baby was going to wait awhile to arrive. Nothing told me the next day!!

Labor & Delivery

The next morning (Thursday), I woke up to the start of my contractions. I could feel Ruby sitting super low near my pelvis and that dull feeling of cramps beginning. We started timing them. They started at around 15-20 minutes apart and quicky changed to 10. We dropped Henry off at daycare (I made Sam drive and not go into work yet because I had a feeling it was birth day) and came back home. I made the call to my doc and they said it sounded like it was happening today and to make my way into L&D within the next hour or two.

I showered (that last home shower is a must… IYKYK) and realized quickly that the contractions were getting stronger, more intense and more woah… this is happening soon. We already had our hospital bags packed weeks before and my parents were expecting “the call” any day now so our preparations were set. 🙏

We made our way to the hospital and let my parents know they’d have to get Henry at daycare for a sleepover later that night. This baby was on her way!

Once at the hospital, I was quickly checked out in triage and was informed that Ruby was breech and I was already at 7-8cm dilated. We were shocked! For nine months, I imagined I would have another natural birth, so when they told me this would be an emergency C-section, it took me awhile to process it. “What can we do? There’s no way I can go natural?” I felt anxious and overwhelmed. They explained that at this point because I was so far along, they couldn’t turn Ruby without it being dangerous and, because time was ticking, she needed to be delivered now. I took a deep breath and went with the new plan. Plans have to be flexible sometimes and this was that. A safe baby and mom — all that mattered. I was willing to surrender and let my doctor safely bring her here.

The C-section was… weird. I’ve never had a major surgery before and didn’t know what to expect. Before I knew it, they were asking us if we were ready to see our daughter. (In my head, I was like “Wait, that was fast. She’s already here?”) Who knew C-sections were that fast? Not me…. I looked up and there she was, right in front of us, crying, breathing and healthy! We cuddled her up and the joy poured over us. Our family just grew.

Naming Our Daughter

We had a list of names we loved for months, but the name Ruby was more of a last minute addition—I’d say in the last month or so. I loved the feeling it gave me and the sound of it. It’s not super common and it sounds nice with Becker. Also, it would make for some pretty cute nicknames like Ru, RuRu, Rubes and Ruby doo. As her birth got closer, it made its way to the top of our list, beating out names like Lilah, Josephine (Joey, Jo), Willow and Eleni (a Greek name I liked a lot).

Her middle name was also a last-minute choice. Look at us, living on the edge! Lol. We wanted to honor Michael in a special way — and were wondering which direction to go in. Would we go with something like Michaela? Or maybe a Beatles song named after a girl, like Elenor or Penny? Then, Sam told me how he and his dad would often play “Strawberry Fields” together and how much he liked that song. “What about Fields?” It seemed a bit random at first but when paired with Ruby, it flowed beautifully. It also painted such a pretty picture in our minds.

Ruby Fields.

We loved it. That was it. About two hours after her birth, we chose her official name.

Our Hospital Stay

With Henry, we ended up only spending one night in the hospital. It was marvelous! Who wants to be at a hospital any longer than they have to be? With Ruby and having a C-section, it was three nights. A long three nights.

Our nurses throughout our stay were amazing. Each one had a special way about them and added to our experience during such a raw, new time in our lives. They provided lots of helpful tips around breastfeeding and I’m so happy to share we’ve been on a successful path with that since Day 1. (If you remember, my struggles with breastfeeding Henry were beyond hard for me, so this definitely feels like a big win!)

One night, Sam ordered us a pizza so we could get a break from hospital food 😅, and there was a two hour wait for it as soon as he placed his online order (too late to cancel). When he went to go get it, it wasn’t ready yet and he basically waited a whole extra hour. Worth the wait? I guess….? Just a funny memory we’ll always have. 🍕

Like Henry, Ruby also was a little jaundiced after birth. The nurses kept a close eye on it. Happy to report she’s better now!

Other cool things I want to remember… cool sunsets in Worceter out our window, the weather going from 50s one day to 20s the next (including some serious snow flurries), and FaceTiming with Henry and our parents.

Hospital births aren’t for everyone but I’ve had two positive experiences. I’ve always felt supported, cared for, prepared and safe. I’m thankful for my doctor and care team, and for leaving feeling totally prepped (as much as one can be) to tackle life with a newborn.

Coming Home

We couldn’t wait to get back home. Henry had stayed one night with my parents and two nights with Sam’s. We missed our little guy and were hoping that he was fine being away from home for so long. Every time we checked in, we were told that he was doing great and having lots of fun, which was such a relief.

When we got home on Sunday afternoon, Henry and Sam’s parents made their way over so Henry could finally meet his sister! We put her in her doc-a-tot and let Henry make his way over to check things out, lol. He climbed up on the couch in awe of her. “Baby Sister” was finally here, after months of talking about her and having a pretend doll to love on. He was smiling and precious, just as we had imagined. Every day since, she has slowly warmed up to her more and more, touching her hands and feet, helping me change her diapers and expressing interest in all her little coos and cries.

Undoubtedly, it’s been a huge adjustment for him as well. Some tantrums, moments of hard feelings to work through with us and sometimes just wanting to be alone. Some “don’t talk Mama” when he pushes me away but then lots of “cozy Mama?” where he gets the blanket ready for comfy couch time - just us two. At just two years old, he’s reacting to this new person in his life just as expected. I’m proud of him. It’s hard. He’ll get there. They’ll be buds.

What’s Next?

For me, I’m trying to focus on the now. We aren’t planning on having any more kids so this newborn phase is it for us. As hard as it can be and as much as I miss my sleep, I am truly trying to find the joy in the chaos of it all. The late feedings, the adorable outfits, the wide-eyed stares, and just needing to be her #1 24/7. I’ve always wanted a daughter, and now she’s here.

I feel very fortunate to have six months off of work to enjoy my child. It’s also a time of healing for me and learning who the new me is. Sam is taking an eight-week leave, which is also great! Together, we will work through some of the sleepiest weeks and eventually come to find a new routine for our family.

I’m going with the pace of my life as it is right now. It’s slow and monotonous and crazy and overwhelming. It ebbs and flows and requires different parts of me at all times. It’s slow and fast and quiet and loud, and it’s everything I have wanted all in one.